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Bratfink
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Name: Bratfink
Gender: Female
Interests: I crochet, stalk people and things with my camera, read, and enjoy vodka and a box of good, fine wine [but not together!]
Expertise: NEAT STUFF ==> www.jordanessentials.com/rephome.php
Occupation: Currently occupied with what's
Industry: WRITE ME! Bratfink (at) crawle
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/2/2006
 True
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| ~Comfy Feet and Other Stupid Stuff~
I've needed new slippers for a while, and to that end The Boy said he would try and find me something I might like while he was at WallyMart getting cat treats. We were down to about 20 treats in the can, and it was making me VERY nervous. Boobs comes over here and he actually stands up and taps me with a paw on the damned arm to get my attention if I'm ignoring him. If I don't acknowledge him he does it again and adds a MEOW. If I STILL ignore him he jumps on my desk and gets in my face.
There is no ignoring that cat when he is on a Mission to Acquire Treats.
So, The Boy goes off into the world and he comes home with not one, but TWO pairs of slippers for me. I DID have to draw him a picture of the TYPE of slippers I wanted because he knows not of MULES. Size was a bit more of a difficulty, but I figured bigger might be better than smaller, so I told him size 9 or 10. It's been my experience that slipper sizes run a bit small anyway.
Back in 2002 [or so] I bought The Boy a pair of Homer Simpson slippers. He LOVED those things. When he wore out the bottoms I actually resoled them in my shoe repair shop and they lasted a long time before they finally just got too gross to keep anymore.
So I told him to find something 'like' the Homers, but he might have to maybe get some Stewies or Brians instead. Not that I knew if they have those, but I told him they are probably making character slippers from shows that are on teevee now. [And of course I Googled later, and thusly, the links.]
Well, he found himself some soled slipper socks that turned out to be too small for him [and he says he will take those back and get something else] and he found me these:
 Black Fuzzies and Memory Insole Slippers They are WONDERFUL. I'm very, very happy, and HE is shocked. ###### I made myself a duct tape wallet. I posted pictures of it before. The thing is, its main job has been to hold my driver's license and my debit card to my bank account which has like five dollars in it. My account used to be with WAMU but they went tits up and were apparently taken over by Chase, and I haven't used it since. I just really need to close it down, but you know, with the many, many things I have to do in my day it's just not high on my list of priorities right now. So, I get my first SS check and I'm in a panic because I don't even know FOR SURE where my freaken wallet IS and I know I will need it. Luckily, I found it right away, and The Boy didn't even know that I was worried. When I was dropped at home I took my wallet out of my pocket and realized I would have to put it somewhere handy so I didn't forget where I stashed it. This is when it hit me. OMFG, MY WALLET HAS ACTUAL MONIES IN IT. To commemorate the occasion, I took a picture.  My wallet will probably fall apart in shock. ###### A couple weeks ago The Boy went hunting and gathering and he brought home something I've never seen before, so of course I had to take a picture.  Never Heard of This Brand The nice part of all this is that I am a cheap drunk date. Really, expensive booze is wasted on me because after about two drinks it all tastes the same to me anyway. So I don't care what it says on the label. I know the label looks BLUE, but it's actually BLACK. Hey, I'm no Pioneer Woman when it comes to photos. I do snapshots. I ain't got no time for Photoshopping photos to get them just so. I love Murray just the way he is. ###### While The Boy was slogging through the Ultra Bargain Bin at the Blockabreaker movie place that's going out of business, he ran across a couple movies HE has always wanted and he bought them. They are a couple of James Bond flicks, 'Dr. No' and 'Goldfinger'. Now, I enjoy the occasional James Bond flick, but really and truly, I haven't seen that many of them. I think the first one I EVER saw was 'Moonraker'. I know I never saw 'Dr. No' and I might have seen 'Goldfinger', but don't quote me on that last one. I've seen some of the later ones with Pierce Brosnan, who I enjoyed, and I've seen all the Daniel Craig Bonds. So, we're sitting here and he says he's going to put a movie in DaViD [in case you've forgotten, that is what HE has named our DVD machine] and he picks 'Dr. No'. I said, "Gee, considering how you keep thanking me for buying the movies I would have thought that you would have the COMMON DECENCY to put in one of MY movies!" Well, THAT SHIT went over like a freaken lead balloon. We watched 'Dr. No' and then 'Goldfinger'. But fear not, I GOT MY REVENGE. I made him sit through 'Lake Placid'. Bwahahahahahahaha! Now let me talk about ' Lake Placid' for a moment. For some reason, every time I think of this movie I think of Fiona. She probably knows why, but I've forgotten. She may have been the first person to mention this movie to me. She does that a lot. [' Bridge to Terebithia' was another one she told me about and I may never have watched it but for her recommendation.] But there's something in Lake Placid that is eating people. Some kind of creature. Some kind of BIG creature, no less. God knows, as a major fan of Godzilla, I love me some big creatures. But let me tell you, although the crocodile in this movie is pretty neat and there's a couple GRUESOME deaths, the best freaken part of this movie is BETTY WHITE. I'm telling you, watch this movie for her alone. She's gonna crack your shit right up. And I must apologize to Fiona and Shrek about the many, many times I mentioned how great the movie ' Watchmen' is. I think they got majorly sick and tired of hearing about it [oversell!] and then, for some reason known only to themselves, they got the movie to watch. I got this email from Shrek: OK OK So, we bought and watched the movie that you've been raving about and praising to the heavens. I'm sorry. I just don't get it. I don't understand why we didn't buy it the moment you said it was so great. Jackie Earle Hailey was freakin' fantastic! I finally had to go to IMDb half way through to make sure it wasn't Robert Downey Jr. playing the Comedian. (Coulda sworn it was him) We love all the comic book movies but this one is by far the leader of the pack. JEH as Rorschach was as compelling a character as Heath Ledger as the Joker. It sucked that he dies at the end. But I could see it coming. Conservatives always die in the movies. And rightly so. I don't know about [Fiona], but I give this one 5 stars, two thumbs up, and a stiff dick. Fantastic all the way! [Shrek and Fiona] ([Fiona] doesn't give it a stiff dick, but her nipples were hard) *** Thanks, Shrek. I read this to The Boy because although he agrees it's a GREAT movie, he hasn't seen it nearly as many times as I have. See if you can find the graphic novel. The copy we have is T-bone's but I want/need/MUST HAVE ONE FOR MY OWN. [The Boy hasn't finished the graphic novel yet. He's a very slow reader.] If you liked the movie, you will appreciate the graphic novel. It's a keeper. ###### Since Kitty is still Not Playing Well With Others, we try to keep an eye on him. Mainly to make sure that Smoke isn't abusing him, or Boobs, either. Maybe we are over-worried. I tend to think we are. One time, Boobs swatted Kitty somehow. I have no idea how Boobs got that close to Kitty without him being aware of it, but he hit Kitty upside the head before we could intervene. Not much longer after that, Kitty was on the freezer, and Boobs went walking by it into the kitchen. I saw Kitty hit the 'Alert!' stage, and I just watched. Boobs ate or got his water or whatever and headed back this way. As he was ready to pass the freezer Kitty jumped down and wailed away on Boobs' head. I laughed my ass off, while Boobs ran like a cat out of hell. Kitty hopped back onto the freezer and I swear, he had a small grin on his face. On Wednesday, Kitty was apparently on 'Alert!' again. Boobs came out of the bedroom and was heading to the kitchen and Kitty stood up and did the weirdest thing. He kind of hopped in a 360° circle and at the end of it I swear he stomped both front feet down while looking down at Boobs. Boobs, being the Big Hard Ass cat that he is, promptly ran beneath my computer chair, and I laughed so hard that I had tears running down my face. I had to compose myself so I could tell The Boy about it, only HE didn't find it so funny because Boobs is his baby. Kitty meanwhile got that funky little look on his face that I keep thinking is a grin as he settled down in the box again. Now, you are going to think I'm digressing, but bear with me. The Boy has stated many times that he's looking forward to the day when Smoke dies so that Hootie will be the only cat eating canned food and he said he will feed him only half a can at a time. Well, I'm here to tell you that THE BOY IS FULL OF SHIT. And I have proof. Kitty is Eating a Whole Can BY HIMSELF
See that? This is becoming the new thing The Boy does so that Kitty doesn't have to fight Hootie and Smoke for canned food in the kitchen.
I think a jury of my peers would vote for JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE.
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| ~Ooofdah!~
The hip has been giving me problems all week, to the point where a couple times I've had to cane my way to the bathroom to pee, just in case. Not fun.
To this end, The Boy decided to pick up dinner from the Chinese place we love here in town. He called while I was playing Trivial Pursuit to ask what I wanted and I said, "PICK SOMETHING!"
I expected Sweet and Sour Pork, because that's 'safe'. He knows I like it and I won't complain.
But he didn't come home with Sweet and Sour Pork.
He brought me something I've never had.
Maybe YOU have had it.
It's Moo Shu Pork. And it came with something that's listed on the menu as 'pancakes'. [Here's the best pic I could find: http://chowtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/IMG_1415.jpg, only mine were square. I think they are overgrown Won Ton wrappers.] There was also a small carton of fried rice.
Well, I ate this stuff by taking a pancake, putting some fried rice on it, then some of the Moo Shu Pork and rolling it up sort of like an egg roll. It came with sauce, but I found it way too sweet and so didn't use it after the first one. The egg rolls I made were wonderful.
Later on, I had some of the Moo Shu Pork over the fried rice and I gave Kitty some of the little pork slivers. He is now My New Best Friend. Even later, I finished up the fried rice with some more Moo Shu Pork on it. This dinner of mine cost $7.49 [plus tax] and I STILL have AT LEAST two meals I can make out of the Moo Shu Pork.
So, for $7.49 I get 5 meals. Maybe even six. The styrofoam container was crammed to the gills with Moo Shu Pork.
I told The Boy, "This is a GREAT bargain!" And delicious to boot!
One of the last times The Boy went to this place for food I asked for something other than Sweet and Sour Pork, but I told him, "Talk to them. Tell them I want something like Chop Suey, but with chicken." He brought home Moo Goo Gai Pan which was an excellent dinner, too, and half a buck cheaper than the Moo Shu Pork, but I didn't get as many meals out of that. Maybe I was hungrier. 
The Boy brought home a menu and gave it to me, and I'm just amazed at the stuff they have that I haven't had, even though we have eaten there many times and once took Bratfink Jr. and company there. [It was where Cognac had her first experience with Jello. Too funny.]
Now I have to tell you that I LOVE Egg Foo Yung. I used to buy the boxed stuff to make it and it wasn't bad. The VERY BEST Egg Foo Yung I have ever had I found in Bratsis' fridge on a visit to her in 2003 [or thereabouts]. Then, my sister-in-law, Kay, brought some home from a place in Lockport and OMG, THAT stuff was to die for, too.
Now, come to find out this Chinese place has it [but apparently NOT on the buffet when you eat there]. I told The Boy, "Next up is the Egg Foo Yung." I expect it to be excellent since I've not found anything bad in eating there [or in take out] since 1998.
I checked the menu again because I wanted to find out what these 'pancakes' would cost, and they are not listed. You can get rice and egg rolls and soup and fried dumplings and fried biscuits and all kinds of stuff, just not the 'pancakes'.
Dang. Because that was a pretty nifty way of eating my Moo Shu Pork and I'd like to try to that with other stuff, too. Maybe they take requests.
The Boy had his usual Burn My Hair Off Garlic Beef. That and the Won Ton soup is all I have EVER seen him eat there. He tells me, "Oh, I like a LOT of different foods. They just aren't the same foods YOU eat."
Heh. They aren't the same foods MOST people eat, you dork.
At any rate, he was very pleased he got me something new and different that I didn't complain about, but I had already decided not to bitch about whatever he brought home since I didn't specify any one thing.
He did good.
And I am still shocked.
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| ~Raising Kids and Being a Mom~
Sorry Dudes, you aren't included in this post because I'm not a man and I wasn't a dad. I'm addressing this to the Moms out there, but feel free to read on. But I'll warn you, I may mention GIRL STUFF, like tampons and getting periods and growing boobs and [horrors!] SHOPPING FOR SHOES.
How dare I? 
[Well, it's my blog and I can do what I want. Damn the torpedoes! Pull into Payless!]
OK. Here we go.
Moms.
We all had one at SOME point or another and some of us were even moms ourselves. Technically, if you ARE one, it's something you will ALWAYS be because as us moms know, they may grow up but they are still our babies. Some of you out there are planning on becoming moms. Some of you may be trying as we speak. [Get that computer out of the bed! AFTER, you can come back to this. Sheesh.]
Motherhood, if you take the job seriously, is the hardest job you will ever do.
Now, I'm not writing this post because I'm gonna blather on about how it's fulfilling, even though it's a tough job, nor am I going to talk about how it can be heart-breaking, too, either in moments or in years depending on circumstances. Good heavens, better writers than I have written about such things and I wouldn't be able to hold a candle to their words.
I'm just a simple kind of gal.
I raised one child; a girl, Bratfink Jr. I've talked about her here a time or two. She's 30 now, which makes me around 40, if you are counting. 
Now, I took the job seriously. I wanted her to grow up to be a productive member of society, not one that was going to live in prison or even on welfare. [That's not to say that if your child ends up that way you didn't take your job seriously. It's just not a parental goal, if you know what I mean and I know that you do.]
And really, up until she hit around 12 or so, it was a relatively easy job.
Then, the shit hit the fan.
Some kids sail through those years [along with the parents] and maybe there are slight bumps, but I think a LOT of us struggle with our teenagers and pull out our hair and at the end of the day we truly, TRULY understand what Roseanne Barr meant when she said, "Hey, if they are still alive at the end of the day, I've done my job." Because there is a frequent urge to strangle the kid. Bratfink Jr. was no exception.
But, we got through it, because time goes by, even if every damn day seems like a week, and if every minute seems like an hour.
Then they are grown up and gone and you are left standing there saying, "Where the hell did the time go?"
I had one kid. My sisters all had more kids than I did, because I will tell you right now, I WAS A WUSS AND I KNEW IT. I have nothing but admiration for them because I, having only raised one, have no idea how the hell they did it.
But even though I know I had some tough times with Bratfink Jr., I'm hard-pressed to come up with a lot of examples about what they were. Oh, I know we went through the swearing stage and she got soap in her mouth [RAKED along her teeth, and it took a long time to brush it out, let me tell you] and she learned that if she was going to say "FUCK YOU!" I'd better not hear it, because I could wrestle her skinny ass into the john and grab that soap faster than she could imagine.
But, as with anything else in life, it's not the bad times that leap first into your mind, because if it was, who the hell would CHOOSE labor and delivery more than once? Hell, just carrying that kid during pregnancy is a pain in the ass [and many other places besides.]
So, when I think back on life with Bratfink Jr. I mostly remember the times we laughed. Oh, I remember a few sad times, because we buried some of her friends, and I remember the heartbreaks from boys, because we all experienced those, but mostly, I remember the joy. And the laughter.
I think most of us moms do.
I know I've mentioned 'Mother's Revenge' in here a time or two, and when Phoenix took apart the television set, I kind of giggled. Not that Bratfink Jr. ever got close to doing something like that, but still.
And Bratfink Jr. lives out in Montanner, and I live here in Inderana, and never in my life did I ever think that I would be so far away from my kid [and grandkids] but LIFE HAPPENS.
You might think that since I have only one child that I'm real anal when it comes to Mother's Day or my birthday or Christmas, but really, I am not. Because LIFE HAPPENS, and I know this.
I know she's got a life out there with a hubby and two kids and Cognac has been in school for years now and then Phoenix is trying to be Bob the UNbuilder and I'm pretty freaken sure she has her hands full even when she's not working full-time at a job. There's dinner to cook even though she just put in a full day at the office and kids that need baths and bills to pay and laundry to do and dishes that need washing and OMG, I know! I know because I was there, and I was only dealing with ONE child [who produced the amount of dirty laundry that TWO kids usually do] but I totally understand.
LIFE HAPPENS. And this is a good thing.
So, Tuesday The Boy is out paying bills so our electricity and phone don't get shut off and I sit down at my computer and see I have an email from Bratfink Jr.
I open it to find this:
Ok, while i'm thinking of this i just want to unload and apologize for a few things over the years or when i was (crazy) a teenager.
The first is when we use to live with with the v***** family. We were arguing about something and i said i would kill you in your sleep. I never would ever do that but have regretted saying this for years.
Next, was on my sixteenth birthday. You woke me up so sweet and with some gifts that you had gotten me. I remember some cute kitty knick knacks. Anyway i ranted about a cd player and how i wanted one and bitched. then later i found out you had gotten me one. I'm sorry for that.
When you were getting my class ring for me and you said that you could write egbert in there and they could engrave it in your handwriting, and I said no. I wish that we had. That would have been cool.
Also, this one is kinda funny. You made my lunch and in it was a tuna sandwich. I love mom's tuna sandwiches. When I opened it I said eww tuna and threw it away cuz i was in front of angela and who knows who else. I guess tuna wasnt cool at school. LOL i'm sorry for this, too.
I'm sorry for many things and also not getting regular packages out to you. I feel like a horrible daughter like i'm not taking care of my mother.
Do know that I love you and if anything ever happened to [The Boy] before the mother dies, you are more than welcome at my humble abode!
I love ya, baby.
Egbert
******
My answer to her:
Honest to God, I don't remember any of that shit! LOL!
I was once a teenager, too, yanno. If you ever said you'd kill me in my sleep I know I didn't lose any sleep over it because I know how people [not just teens] say things in anger.
As for wanting the CD player, if you ranted about it I was probably just chuckling to myself thinking, Oh boy, is she ever going to be surprised later!
Tiffany, honey, sweetheart, don't fret and don't trouble yourself over things. Because you know what? LIFE HAPPENS. I know that you are a mom with two kids and you have your freaken hands full. I get enough stuff at Xmas and birthdays that not getting something from you doesn't ruin my day! LOL! I assure you, you are not and haven't RUINED MY LIFE.
When you get time/money to mail stuff, realize that it will probably arrive here on the perfect day. Maybe it will be a day when I'm in a lot of pain or a day when shit's just not going right, but the package will arrive and cheer me up. Trust me--that kind of shit happens to me all the time.
But if it made you feel better to get that off your chest, well, then I'm happy for you.
I love you, Sweetheart. Never doubt that.
******
Of course, about that time The Boy came walking in the door to find me crying at my desk and he was all concerned and I just pointed at my monitor because I couldn't speak and he came over and read Bratfink Jr's. letter and my reply.
And the reason I am posting those here? It's not because I want anyone to see how awesome my kid is [although I think she is].
It's because somewhere out there is a mom who may be reading this who may be thinking, OMG, will this day never end? And maybe they have a teenager that drives them to the point of utter impatience and they want to kick something.
I'm just putting this here to tell you [again] that's being a mom is probably the hardest job in the Whole Wide World.
But whoever you are--wherever you are--hang in there.
Because one day you may end up with a letter much like the one I got, and that's when you can pat yourself on the back and say, OMG, I did something right. I have an adult child who is a decent human being.
And you'll look back on all those years and you will smile. All the nagging, all the late nights, all the bills, the costumes, the PTA crap, etc., ad nauseum; it meant something. It counted.
You are probably doing a better job than you will ever know, no matter how you feel RIGHT NOW.
And it really and truly IS worth it.
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| ~Inanity~
The Boy tries to involve me in his 'Cops and Robbers' and his Lord High God games, and because I'm nice I even listen to him sometimes when he's telling me stuff. I have even been know to actually WALK OVER TO HIS DESK to look at some new thing he added to one lair or another, but this doesn't mean I'm really interested or even that I give a damn.
I'm just being nice.
So, the other night he says to me, "Which is better? Drug Kingpin or Drug Lord?"
I think about it and say, "Oh, I don't know. Drug Kingpin I suppose."
Come to find out he's trying to come up with the PERFECT name for some character or another.
Monday night he says to me, as he's looking for a DVD to watch, "I need to tell you something. Because you might have to do a poll or something."
I tried VERY hard to look interested as he explained that he had asked T-bone the Kingpin vs. Drug Lord question and T-bone went with the Drug Lord, as did T-bone's wife. The Boy then said, "It's 2 against 1 for Drug Lord. You might want to ask people what they think."
And people, I lost it. I was positively SPEECHLESS. I said, "OMFG, do you SERIOUSLY think I give a shit whether you call it Kingpin or Drug Lord? Do you think it MATTERS to me? Did you think my feelers were going to get hurt? OMG, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT."
It's hours later and I am STILL shaking my head in disbelief over the whole thing. Did he REALLY think I was going to send out emails and ask people about this?
Yes, he thought I would.
See what I save my friends and family FROM?
######
Knowing the trash was going to have to be taken out, I went through the bags of stuff The Aunt sent over here so anything I was getting rid of wouldn't hang around for another week. I threw some stuff out and didn't even mention it to The Boy because he said "Well, I want to see what she sent over, first, before you start throwing it out."
Fuck that shit. I threw a bunch of stuff out anyway.
So, I tie up the bag and put it in front of my desk, so that when he starts hauling the trash he can take it with him.
Well, the time comes and he makes a couple trips out there, and about 15 minutes later I notice MY bag is still sitting in front of my desk. "How come you didn't take MY trash out while you were going? I put it RIGHT THERE so you would see it."
"I thought that was the stuff from my aunt," he says.
And this is how little attention he actually PAYS to stuff. The only resemblance MY bag had to the one the stuff came in is that they were both white. The Aunt's bag was NOT tied up nicely. Mine was. If he had picked it up he would have realized it was much lighter in weight than the bag from The Aunt and it also didn't clink and clank, seeing as how it was mainly paper towels at that point.
So, bitching and complaining, he put his shoes back on and hauled my bag out to the trash can for pickup.
Why didn't he just ASK? Every Monday I empty my trash can and put a new liner in it. Every Monday I have exactly one bag of trash that he takes out, and that includes the trash can from the bathroom and bedroom. Why did he think this week was going to be different?
Why. The question of the ages where The Boy is concerned.
######
A couple weeks ago The Boy brought home a mattress pad for the bed. Or maybe you'd call it a cover. The Mother found it somewhere or another because even she was getting tired of whatever cat it was that was peeing on the bed, and this thing is plastic.
So, The Boy gets it put on the bed and gets a sheet on, and makes the bed, and all is well. Then he goes to go to bed one night and finds out the bed was again peed on.
He came stomping out to the living room, grabs Kitty and takes him back to the bedroom and he's yelling and he later told me that he shoved the cat's face in the peed on area and yelled "NO! NO! NO!" and spanked his butt, then hauled his furry little ass right back to the freezer, where the cat hunkered down in the box and looked sorta guilty, to tell you the truth.
The bed got changed [again] and wiped down and sprayed to high heaven with Febreze and he was finally able to get to sleep.
Now it's about two weeks later and there have been NO peeing incidents on the bed. The Boy said to me, "You keep saying Kitty is retarded, but I think he WAS the one peeing on the bed, and he hasn't done it since the night I shoved his face in it and spanked him.
Well, let us pray that's the truth.
I do know that *I* am still very paranoid and I watch Kitty EVERY TIME he walks down the hallway. He is using the potty room, and I haven't seen him go into our bedroom for a while, although I've been keeping the door shut pretty much all the time. I don't know that Kitty knows how to jump on it to open it like all the other cats do. God help us when he learns [if ever].
So, Monday I go to take a nap, and I get all settled in bed and I fall asleep. A couple hours later I go to turn over and I AM STUCK TO THE BED.
My side of the sheet was apparently undone, a fact that I missed since the mattress pad and the present sheet are both white. You have no idea how much it hurt to PEEL MY BODY off that pad.
You can bet I will be checking to make sure I have sheet over there before I get myself situated, because I do not want to have to go through THAT shit again in this lifetime.
I mentioned it to The Boy and told him I was trying to save him future pain, which I thought was really nice of me, although the thought of his dangle-down parts being stuck to the mattress pad has me giggling at odd moments. I can be so sadistic at times.
######
You know, I'm all about going green, but I have to tell you, I am not happy with these new fangled curlycue light bulbs. I have a TERRIBLE time reading by them. TERRIBLE.
I put light bulbs, REGULAR old light bulbs on The List, but The Boy never gets them because "I don't go to that part of the store."
I have moved light bulbs around until I am down to ONE regular light bulb I can use. This makes me very, very nervous. Plus, I hear they are going to stop making these light bulbs.
How nice of me to warn you, eh?
It pisses me off that they are going to stop making regular light bulbs. We are all being dragged [kicking and screaming] into The Age of Going Green.
I'm all for going green, trust me on this. But not when I can't do something I consider basic, like reading, comfortably by using the lightbulbs forced upon me. Mind you, I've only put regular bulbs in the lamps I use to read by. The others are fine with curlicue bulbs.
So, The Boy and I go out to cash my check so that we can pay our electric and phone bills and as we are exiting the small grocery store by us where we do this I spy a SALE! on regular light bulbs. There they are, all stacked nicely in a grocery cart; 100s, 75s, 60s and 40s.
"Wait," I tell The Boy. "We have to get these."
"I'll come back later and get them."
"No, you won't. We will take a minute while we are here and we will get them NOW." I know he'll get the wrong wattages, so I will make sure I get what *I* want.
OMG, you'd think I asked him to cut a finger off for me. I didn't realize he had a hot date and I was keeping him from it.
An Impatient Boy is an Ugly Child, trust me. Because when he is impatient, NOTHING GOES RIGHT.
He says, "Well, let me go put these groceries in the truck." We got THREE items, not counting the light bulbs. In one bag is eggs, in the other is two bottles of V-8 juice. He goes out to the truck and puts them in there, and comes back in.
We get the bulbs paid for and out we go.
It's not easy for me to get into the truck, but I do it, and I am thankful for the vinyl seats which means I can hook a piece of ass on the edge of the seat and slide myself in and over. Which looks anything BUT graceful, but what the hell do I care?
The Boy hands me my cane, shuts the door, then goes around the truck and gets in.
Well, when he put the V-8 juice in the truck he just put them on the floor ON THE DRIVER'S SIDE. Does he think to move these BEFORE starting to drive?
Of course he doesn't.
So, they start sliding around because he's having to do a 180 to get to a place where we can get out of the parking lot since the store is on a very busy corner.
He reaches down, and he's already pissed off because HE IS TWO MINUTES BEHIND WHATEVER SCHEDULE HE'S ON and tries to lift the bag up. Which doesn't happen because IT TORE.
Now he's trying to drive AND find two bottles of V-8 that are sliding around under his damn feet.
And he wonders why I never want to go anywhere with him?
"I can't believe they ever gave you a driver's license," I tell him. Really. I'm amazed constantly that he doesn't have MORE accidents than he's already had.
He drops me off at home, hauls in the stuff, and leaves to go pay the bills. I fire up Pogo for Trivial Pursuit and HONEST-TA-GOD, on question TWO the damned phone rings and GUESS WHO IT IS?
Today is NOT his day.
Not mine, either.
######
I told The Boy to go back to our local BustertheBlock movie place that's going out of business and get a couple movies.
He got me 4 movies:
Harry the Potter 5
Terms of Endearment
The 2 disk 70th Anniversary Edition of The Wizard of Oz
Lake Placid
All were on sale.
I foresee a Harry the Potter marathon in my future.
######
I told the Boy tonight, "I just want you to know, don't EVEN think of throwing a head at me! EVER!"
######
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| ~Why I No Longer Love IMs~
My first ISP was AOHell, but mainly because most of my family was on it. And also because I am sure I had something like FIFTY AOHell Installation disks sitting around that I had gotten in the mail. Just pop that sucker in your computer and you are online in a MATTER OF MINUTES.
It was a miracle.
Of course, one of the first things I did after Creating an Account [coming up with a screamname YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE OR DELETE, fucking assholes!] was SENDING MY FIRST IM.
My phone bill would never be the same, AND THANK GOD FOR THAT SHIT!
A lot of stuff changed then, like the fact that I rarely sent snail mail anymore, but you all know what I'm talking about there. I know I am not single-handedly bringing about the downfall of the USPS, ya know what I mean? 
But that's neither here nor there.
I loved IMs. They kept The Online fun for this Noob. And my long-distance bills went down to almost nothing. Which was only fair, since I now had a bill I was paying to AOHell, but it was still less than the phone bill, believe it or not.
Anyway, there was something really comforting about signing onto AOHell and seeing that Buddy List pop up. You could set sounds for when people signed on and when they left, and those could be pretty comical. They could also be annoying, especially if you had slamming doors. Sometimes your buddies would be coming and going so fast all you would hear is SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!
Let's move along.
Years later, I left AOHell because I was moving into the Land That is NOT Dial-up and I wasn't a Noob anymore and I didn't need the security of a User Friendly ISP anymore. All I needed was a browser, and I had IE, although I wasn't really happy with it.
My nephew talked me into downloading and using Firefox, and for this alone he shall always have a spot in my heart. I may mention him in my Will. [Hi, Kiddo!]
If you are still using IE, let me tell you, LOSE IT. There are other browsers out there and they ALL outperform IE in speed and EASE OF USE. Trust me on this.
But the most important thing was, I had to download some sort of IM software, and the most accessible was Yahoo Instant Messenger, which I call YIM, of course.
Over the years I have tried pretty much every IM machine out there, including ICQ, which sucks. [But that's just my opinion, your mileage may vary.] I keep coming back to YIM, because I love the animated smilies and it's very reliable.
I'm going to digress for a moment, but I think you'll figure out why.
Remember when they came out with Caller ID for telephones? Remember how awesome it was, and is? It reminded us that telephones are there for OUR convenience, and not for the convenience of people who may be calling us.
Well, this is how I've started to feel about YIM. The other night I was IMing with two people who were apparently doing something else and I was in the kitchen slaving over a hot cauldron, and yet I kept looking back to my monitor to see if they had answered me yet.
That's when it occurred to me, this is nuts. This YIM [and these people] were keeping me tied to my computer, and I didn't care for it ONE DAMN BIT.
But I soldiered on. I thought, maybe I'm just being crabby. Because, that happens. I have crabby moments. No, really.
Then, the other night, it hit me anew. I am giving my IMs more attention than the people I am talking to.
I think of IMs as phone call types of things. You don't not answer an IM, unless you are in bed, of course, and forgot to shut down your IM machine. I've done that.
But I've had people say to me, "Oh, sorry, I forgot we were talking. I was in making dinner/watching 'House'/taking a nap/whatever."
And you know what?
It's over.
I am not going to 'automatically' sign onto YIM when I get online. If you feel the need to speak to me, send me an email. Since I use Firefox I have my email open on a tab ALL DAY. When an email comes in, it tells me there is 1 [or 2 or 3] emails in my inbox on the tab.
Or, you can call me. If you are on my YIM list and have my email, you probably have my cell phone number. But I would try the email first.
YIM has become a 'time suck' and I going to break the habit and take back The Online for myself.
Thank you for understanding.
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