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Bratfink
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Name: Bratfink
Gender: Female
Interests: I crochet, stalk people and things with my camera, read, and enjoy vodka and a box of good, fine wine [but not together!]
Expertise: NEAT STUFF ==> www.jordanessentials.com/rephome.php
Occupation: Currently occupied with what's
Industry: WRITE ME! ToBratland@yahoo.com
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/2/2006
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| Winding Down~Winding Down~
I made copious notes [for the most part] while I was away, because I knew that alcohol might or might not be involved in my daily routine, and IF it is, I can't be relied upon to remember shit. Which apparently included making regular entries into my notes.
By Monday morning, I was a gruesome sight. Sleeping on the couch [comfy as it was] had taken a toll on my sleep AND my bad hip. It didn't take a Rocket Scientist to see that I was in a bad way.
Then there was the leg wound to top it off.
Bratsis  and Buttmunch had apparently talked while I was still sleeping [again] and when I got up my sister asked me if I would be averse to leaving that day. "Hell, no!" I said. "I need to get into a bed before I get to the point where I can't walk at all."
Despite everything, THEY left without their cell phone chargers. I put mine away after every charging because I didn't want to face The Wrath of KP if it got left at The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"].
I came home to find The Boy had rearranged the living room ["I needed more room around my desk," he said.] He had cleaned out the hallway, which is why I could just wheel my computer chair down to the bedroom door to wake him up when The Mother called at 5:23 am. Rather neat, that.
The trouble is, he's not getting RID of shit; he's just piling it up somewhere else, and when I have to find something it's going to drive me apeshit crazy.
Anyway, back in the day, every summer for a couple of years I would fly to Florida to spend about two weeks with Bratsis . I was always told that if I was coming to stay there for free, I HAD to bring them some White Castle Burgers. Which I dutifully did, EVERY FRICKEN TIME.
Come to find out, years later, that they told this to every person who was coming to stay with them, and I was the ONLY person to actually do it.
I KNOW! 
How rude of those others!
Now, the reason I mention this is that on this trip, Bratsis had a 'shopping list' of food items she HAD to bring back for her hubby, The Beast [although when HE goes on these trips alone he rarely stops and brings all this stuff with HIM. Chauvinistic PIG!] He wanted some Italian Beef [which we picked up from a place called Portillo's], some Polish sausage [unfortunately, the place Bratsis previously bought it from had gone out of business], some White Castle Burgers and a certain brand of 'Gringo Tamales' [as I call them because they are not Mexican], which Kay's sister hooks her up with.
When we hit Route 80 we had gotten the tamales and the beef, and Buttmunch said she had a place that had a woman from Chicago who made Polish sausage for them, so they would try there for those, and of course, White Castles are available in Kentucky. [I haven't yet asked Bratsis if she got all her stuff.]
So, I get home and The Boy reads me the Riot Act for the leg thing and I am booting up Hawk, who was unplugged and moved while I was gone] and we can't get my damned mouse to work. It's a cordless mouse, and I love it, so I almost took The Boy's head off when he suggested I get a corded mouse to use. "Dammit, it was working when I left and it better get working again!"
The Boy got it working, so he got to live.
I didn't do much online except post that I had arrived home, because I wanted to chat a bit with The Boy [and the stupid cats] before I rushed into bed. Since then, I haven't been sleeping over three hours at a time, and I'm hoping that's going to change VERY SOON, because I JUST WANT TO SLEEP A WHOLE SIX TO EIGHT HOURS. All at one time.
I feel like I've caught a cold, besides. There's some chest congestion I can feel and I think I'm losing my voice [yes, that is the sound of The Boy cheering that you hear] and I've been a bit off my feed. The Boy made nachos the other night and I barely touched them. Wednesday night he found some steaks on sale and made me eat one [which I did, and which I enjoyed] because he remembered the people at the Wound Center said that I should eat a high protein diet because it contributes to healing.
The leg wound is scabbing over, and OMG, that hurts. It feels just like last summer. Sheesh. The mosquito bites I got that didn't bother me until now have all started to itch at once [  ] and the itches are what woke me up at 2 am. Boobs was not a happy cat when I got out of bed because it meant HE had to move his fat butt, too. Stupid cat.
My molting continues unabated, and it's really weird to scratch my ear and peel off a piece of skin. Never did that before. 
And the celebrities continue to drop like flies. Karl Malden has died at the age of 97. RIP.
The Boy is still employed at the same place, and for the time being the mandatory one hour overtime each day is cancelled. The Boy says it will return though. But he's happy because he said that extra hour really made his days seem like long ones.
And as I get ready to post this, it's July the 3rd, which means that the crazy assholes that make up Indiana are going to start blowing off fireworks at any time and will continue to do so for over 24 hours. This is one of my most unfavorite holidays since living in Indiana.
But I shall get through it, and Hootie will once again spend it under our bed because the loud noises scare the hell out of him.
You know what this means, right.
I'm HOME, baby. And it's the Same Shit, Different Day.
Happy Independence Day to My Fellow Americans.
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| The Boy Gets Lazy Sometimes~The Boy Gets Lazy Sometimes~
But I bet you knew that. When I got home, the first thing I did was look at the upsy downsy.
Sure enough, it was neglected.
Mr. IHaveAGreatIdea took that plant watering bulb The Mother gave me and figured he could use that to get away from watering daily.
IT DIDN'T WORK.
I told him it wouldn't work when he FIRST suggested it. But did he listen?
No, he did not. He figured he was so much smarter than me that HE was going to show ME!
Of course, he's lying about the whole thing. He says he put the bulb in there and watered, too, but I know that's a lie. And I'm angry about it because he always said it was so easy to just use the sink sprayer to water stuff.
I don't know if it can be saved, it's THAT bad. He said he'll pick up some Miracle Grow on Friday, but who knows if that will bring the plant back.
I made him bring the bulb in last night [Tuesday night] and he was bitching and moaning about how it was fine sitting in the plant, but I said that I was going to give the bulb to a friend as a gift. He said, "My mother got that for YOU. You can't just give it away."
I said, "Ah. And you gave T-bone and Spouse the 'new' Foreman grill your mother gave us for Christmas, and that is different... how?"
He didn't say another word.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Now... where were we?
Let's see... since I spent a portion of every day at The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] in the pool, maybe I should talk about that a bit.
The Herbowskis talked about why they bought The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"]. Seems they went to Jamaica and just laid around getting ridiculously tan on the beaches there and when they spotted this piece of real estate for sale with the pool and the fence around it, they 'saw' Jamaica again. Also, it pretty much had everything they were looking for in a new abode. So, they bought it.
The pool area ==> the pool
They moved into it in November, so this summer is really the first time they are enjoying the pool. It's heated, by the way, so they are hoping to use it long after their neighbors have had to cover theirs for the winter.
Generally, each day I would sit outside until I got so freaken hot I couldn't stand it anymore. Then I would go mess around in the pool for a while. This is why I got myself burned up. When I wasn't in the pool, I was under an umbrella.
We ALL got burned to some extent. Bratsis  was wearing a suit that left her side open to the sun and thusly her bra line under her arm got burned. [Last I heard some blisters showed up. I didn't get blisters.] Buttmunch got her buns burned, and I caught a picture for you ==> red buns
Buttmunch says "Hey" to you guys ==> HEY!
We are pretty sure our hosts were messing around in the pool [if you know what I mean and I think you do] but I wasn't going to duck underwater to see. I just told them to keep the moaning and groaning down because sound really carries around there. Here's some pics of them ==> 1, 2, 3, and 4
I was going to post a picture of Bratsis but EVERY PICTURE I have of her is one where she is talking, I kid you not. Buttmunch and I got her to change her ring tone to one that says "Blah blah blah blah" when it rings and we laughed and laughed every time someone called her, it was so funny.
The Bratfambly Drunken Orgy Reunion was sparsely attended once again. Someone is not sending out the emails they PROMISED they would, but a good time was had by all nevertheless. The food was awesome, of course, because it always is.
As usual, Bratsis made the fruit salad so I cut the grapes and also the strawberries ==> grapes etc
It is VERY important to cut from top to bottom on the grapes and not just right across the middle. This makes the biggest surface area for the dressing to cling to, of course. And it's just aesthetically pleasing.
The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] has a most awesome grill that we put to use numerous times during our stay. Here it is ==> the grill
When we weren't cooking we were eating up the leftovers. Buttmunch is particularly good at this, by the way. Sunday morning I decided to have some of Bee's potato salad for my breakfast. After I ate [everyone was still dead asleep because they all went whoring at a bar the night before] I slipped outside for a quick cig before coming back in and cleaning up after myself. When I returned, I found a cat on the table and I said, "Get off the table!"
The cat replied, "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!"
I said it again, "GET OFF THE TABLE!" And the cat finally got down.
Cats are the same no matter where you go, I swear to God it's true.
Here are the resident cats, and you should recognize one as the one who had a baby in the closet a couple years back ==> Miss Priss and ==> Weezie
Bubba is not a pet person. He will tell you that. You don't even have to ask him. He will ask you if you want to take one of them home with you, and he will provide new bowls, litter, pans and food to go. The Cave doesn't need another mouth to feed, so I had to tell him no, but I felt really bad about it.
One night the orange one ran out the back door while someone went in [he's a fast little bugger] and there was a mad dash by Bubba to catch it. He found it in the bushes amongst the mulch, and he put it under his arm and gave each little paw a swipe to clean it off. No damned cat was gonna track shit into HIS house!
I held my laughter until he went inside because OMG, it was just too funny.
Bart, Milhouse and Bubba Jr. reside there, although we saw very little of them. Nelson moved out and is presently living with Kay's mom. He did stop by frequently to eat us out of house and home, which we appreciated. We couldn't eat all the food there was left over. Here's a pic of the main fridge, by the way [I want one like this!] ==> the fridge
I had a plan to make some toast with their toaster and report about it here, but I didn't get to it. What I DID notice though was that although FIVE people live in that house, they have only a 2-slice toaster, whereas Fiona and Shrek, who live in a 2-person household, have a four-slice toaster. Just sayin'.
Sunday, Bratsis had to go to a Reunion of the girls she went to reform school with [that's my story and I'm sticking to it!] After she left, Buttmunch remembered that she had brought a pineapple for the party and we had forgotten all about it. She brought it into the kitchen and Bubba started cutting it up. Kay was standing by, trying to figure out the best way to enjoy the pineapple and Bubba suggested that perhaps he could make some blended tropical-type drinks using it, Malibu Rum and some orange juice.
Well folks, I'm here to tell ya that Bubba said he would kick our asses with the drink and he sure did. I had two and I was pretty much stranded outside in the cabana because I didn't think I could walk. Buttmunch went inside and slept it off, the lucky bitch.
Luckily, by the time my two Aunts showed up, I was able to talk coherently again, but it was a near thing. They fell in LOVE with The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] and said they are going to kick some Bratfambly ASSES and we WILL have a decent drunken orgy reunion there next year. You don't want to mess with old ladies because they know stuff, ya know what I mean?
And OMG I haven't yet mentioned the vampires mosquitoes. They were the worst part of the experience, and they were HUGE. [I only remembered because I have a HUGE bite on my ass that I was scratching just now. But I have them other places, too.]
Despite this ==> candle and these ==> more candles we all got gnawed on. Kay and Bubba were spraying the hell out of the yard and it helped a lot, but there's always a few wearing gas masks who make it through. And I am particularly delicious [and Bubba's mom, who dropped by, says SHE is scrumptious.]
...to be continued....
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| Reports Are Coming In~Reports Are Coming In~
Reports are starting to come in that people trying to access my photos are being asked to JOIN my photo hosting site.
I'm in the process of opening a Flic*r account and hopefully that will not happen there.
I will NOT be moving any of my pictures from the other place. If you want to see them, you'll have to open an account, but you don't have to upload photos at least.
Sorry for any inconvenience, but I'm not in control of The Online, although I should be.
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| Bratsis is Toast!~Bratsis is Toast!~
I hope you are finding the toasters at least a bit fascinating. The thing is, there are so many toasters made out in The World and so many to choose from that it's interesting to see what people have ended up with.
When I buy a toaster it's usually an inexpensive one, because really, all I want it to do is make toast. I don't usually make anything but toast out of bread, and perhaps the occasional English muffin.
Our next contestant in the toaster competition is Bratsis . Her choice of toaster [which may have actually been purchased by her hubby, The Beast] is an Oster. Let's look at it, shall we?
We notice right away that it's a 4-slicer for a 2-person household ==> 11824
Here's the handy dandy dual controls ==> 11825
Here's another shot she sent ==> 11827
And OMG, here's the toast picture she sent ==> 11826
Who eats their toast like that? If The Boy made his toast like that I would get migraines because of the smell of the burnt toast. But to each their own.
Bratsis wasn't real informative when she sent the pics, by the way.
Our next toaster is presently residing in GERMANY, so you don't want to miss it!
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| Working on Catching Up on Sleep~Working on Catching Up on Sleep~
I really thought that I would fall into bed and sleep through the night without a problem [Monday night] but it was not to be. At some Weird [of course] hour I got up and came out to the living room and began again to try to deal with my email.
It wasn't as bad as it was in the past, though. In the last year or so I realized I was subscribed to a LOT of newsletters I just wasn't reading, so I unsubscribed to them and that has helped tremendously when I have to be away from the computer for any length of time. The main email address I use for fambly and friends had only 70 emails waiting for me, and that's low, believe it or not.
So, once I dealt with that as much as I could, I left it and went to catch up on some online sites I stalk on a regular basis.
Somewhere around 5 am The Boy got up to pee, and he dropped by my desk to ask me, "You OK?" I assured him I was and he went back to his coffin. At 5:23 am the house phone rang, and I quickly turned around and grabbed up the phone and answered it.
It was The Mother, who was VERY shocked to hear my voice because she didn't know that I was home. She recovered quickly though, and told me to tell The Boy that she needed him at the Mud Hut because The Stepdad was down again and she couldn't get him up. I said, "OK," hung up the phone, and wheeled my computer chair down the hall and yelled at The Boy to tell him.
He jumped up so fast I couldn't believe it, and was out of here in less than a minute.
He returned home quickly [the Mud Hut being only three blocks away] and told me that The Stepdad was on the damned OUTSIDE PORCH ALL NIGHT.
He said, "He REALLY needs to be in a nursing home, but my mother is too soft-hearted to put him in one."
SOFT-HEARTED?
I don't think so. What can be more freaken terrifying than to be an old person who can't get themselves up when they have fallen and they are outside in the world besides? OMFG, what is she thinking?
I'm not overly fond of The Stepdad, mainly because he's not the type of person who invites you to feel anything for him one way or another. But I don't want ANYONE laying OUTSIDE IN THE ELEMENTS overnight!
OMG, he was so lucky that it was warm outside, which is not to say that he still didn't feel uncomfortable, because old folks tend to feel cold when the rest of us feel just fine. But this is terrible. I want to slap the shit out of her for thinking it would be a bad thing for The Stepdad to be somewhere where they have people to watch over him so this kind of thing won't happen.
So, the day proceeds and I go back to bed and The Boy gets up and then I get up after only a couple hours [which is all I'm sleeping at a stretch until my body gets used to the fact that I am SLEEPING! IN! AN! ACTUAL! BED! again] and The Boy decides that The Kitchen Must Be Rearranged NOW. And a deep clean of the floor in there was going to be done.
We argued about this for a while, because there's no talking to that man sometimes, and I finally threw my hands in the air and said, "Do whatever the fuck you want, because you will anyway," and I went back to bed, because truly, my eyes were slamming shut. I was dead asleep in MINUTES.
See, he gets all these great ideas that aren't really so great for when you are actually working in the kitchen. Women are all about saving steps and they know about the 'Triangle of Work' whereas a lot of men do not, The Boy being one of the latter.
Well, I'm here to tell you that when I got up and saw what he had done to the kitchen, I WAS FLOORED AND SPEECHLESS.
Which is to say I WAS IMPRESSED.
I KNOW!
But I didn't let him know this, of course. He told me he had to run to the grocery store for something for our dinner, and the minute he was gone I got Murray out and took pictures. But in order to really appreciate the pictures, let me show you what the 'before' pictures would have looked like, if he had taken them.
This is a picture of the cats, but you can see in the sides and the background some of the craziness that was our kitchen ==> 11810
Now, check THESE out ==> 11820, 11821, 11822, and 11823.
The Boy still wants to move the microwave off the counter, and for that we need to figure out a way of supplying power to it, so that's still in the future. His ultimate goal, so he says, is to clear off part of the counter so he can do Actual Food Preparation on it, such as cutting and chopping and whatever.
So, let me tell you how I got the wound on my leg while at The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"].
We arrived at The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] about 3 pm or so on Wednesday. [I was pretty much set to go when Bratsis and Buttmunch pulled up and Buttmunch [being the youngest] quickly moved all my shit to the car and got it stowed away and we were off.]
Now let me digress a moment and tell you about Bratsis' GPS unit. Her hubby downloaded an additional voice for her, and he chose 'Stewie' from 'Family Guy'. Let me tell you, I laughed my ass off the first time we deviated from the route he was showing us to say, "What the HELL are you doing? This is NOT the route I laid out for you!"
Hysterical.
So, we arrived at The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] and were met by our Host, Bubba [Sr., but we'll call him plain ole Bubba since Bubba Jr. just doesn't figure into the equation this trip] who seemed a bit 'nervous'. But we hugged him and just talked for a bit and he seemed to remember us from years past and realized anew that we were just people and weren't going to bite him or anything.
I should take a moment to digress and remind you just WHO Bubba and [our hostess] Kay used to be in Real Life. Kay owned the house where the Bratfambly Drunken Orgies Reunions used to be, when not held at the Forest Preserve. She was, at one time, married to 4-F, a Brat brother, but when they got divorced, we kept HER and the kids and let HIM go. Four years later, she started dating Bubba [I had a 'bit' of a hand in this, I'm proud to say  ] and last November they purchased The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] and combined households, and are presently renting out their respective homes, since they got renters easier than buyers for their homes.
So, Bubba had a house full of people who are not really related to him, but who feel like he's part of the fambly, and he DID know us. It was just his first time as a Host.
Now, to put it bluntly, Bubba is a Clean Freak. He's sort of OCD about it, and there's nothing wrong with that. WE were worried because we didn't want to cause him one extra bit of work if we could help it, and we were on our BEST BEHAVIOR regarding food and drink and spills and leaving our dirty clothes laying around. I knew it was sort of a lost cause when I saw him cleaning the glass ["OMG there's fingerprints on my windows! They are TOUCHING MY STUFF!"] on the screen door before going to bed. But we did as much as we could to be Good Guests because we'd like to return some day.
Wednesday night I was up until like 3 am because the weather was so nice and it was so damned quiet outside compared to The Cave. Thursday we got up, and went outside to drink our coffee [and smoke, of course] and when we had enough coffee we broke out the vodka and [I think] Bloody Mary mix we found in the fridge in the garage.
Now, the back door to The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] is a bit problematic for those of us who have knee and/or hip problems. The steps leading to it have sunk over four inches, and the first step is a bitch, as they say. And if you can't use that step, the only alternative is to go around the side of The Herbowski Spa and Resort [whose motto is "We Don't Need No Stinkin' Ocean!"] and enter the house through the garage.
Some time Thursday afternoon or early evening, I can't remember exactly [alcohol may or may not be involved], I was trying to negotiate that freaken step. Bratsis came up behind me, and trying to be helpful, said she would give me a push.
The trouble was, I wasn't READY for a push.
My left leg missed the step and my shin scraped along the top step, which was concrete. My right shoulder slammed into the door jamb, rendering it pretty much useless for days [and it's still not back to normal as I write this, which made putting my hair back in a pony tail almost impossible without help. Thanks, Buttmunch!]
The pain was indescribable.
This is a good place to edumacate people, so I'm going to take a second to do that.
Folks, if you see someone who is struggling, don't assume you know what they need. Ask them if they want to be helped and if they say yes, THEN ASK THEM HOW YOU CAN HELP THEM. Do not assume that you know exactly the best way to help them because chances are YOU WOULD BE WRONG. Bratsis had not seen me in a while and I'm sure she was not aware of the fact that just bending and raising my leg up and over something takes me just a BIT longer than it takes other people. Just please be aware that people have physical limitations that cannot be seen. THANK YOU!
[This is not to say that my sister isn't sensitive to people's needs; she is. And this isn't to say that she did this on purpose; she did not. We were all having a good time [and alcohol may or may not be involved] but SHIT HAPPENS, and when SHIT HAPPENS, it tends to happen fast, which is exactly what happened.]
Thankfully, before I left The Cave, The Boy had given me some vicodin to take with me. I took one immediately after the 'fall' and sat there and waited until it hit. [The Boy said to me, "How much did it bleed?" "Not a bit," I told him. "It seeped like my legs did at their worst last year." "Oh, shit," he said. Yeah.]
Well, when the pain abated somewhat I hobbled to the pool, figuring the chlorine would help to clean it out. I think that was a good move, considering I wasn't bleeding [or even seeping much at that point]. It stung like hell, but in the grand scheme of Pain I Experience, it was nothing. I really was more worried about it seeping all over the couch where I was sleeping and thankfully, Bubba had bandages that I used to cover it at night while I slept.
Which brings me to the list of things I was sorry I had not packed, although I had considered doing so. I HAD said to myself, "Oh, throw a couple of those bandages Fiona sent to you in your bag." "No," I said, "I want to pack light, and besides, what could happen?" I guess I found out.
Also making the list of things I thought about but didn't throw in my bag were: My inhaler, nail clippers, an emory board, my backscratcher, and actual RUBBER BANDS, because the hair elastic I was using stretched out and became almost useless.
...to be continued....
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